Hazel Langhorn

“The Day We Thought Momma Was Going to Commit Murder”

All my sisters have to read is the name “Uncle Willard” to know this episode.

Our Uncle Willard was my Mom’s youngest brother.  He was a kind, loving, gentle soul that we adored, would dance & dance with us and could work like a mule.  Oh, and boy could he eat.  We use to imitate his “Don’t mind if I do” phrase from the dinner table.  Back then Mom use to make us sit the table and take all the food off the stove.  We served dinner out of bowls…family style…..placed the dishes the way they were suppose to…forks on the left…cutting edge of the knife facing the plate on the right…spoon on the right of the knife…kool aid/tea glass above the right…serve from the right hand side of people…we were taught how to properly set a table with all the dishes…salad plates & goblets….there was no eating dinner whenever you felt like it…eat  3- 4 different things…..you ate what was cooked and you sat down at the table.  We girls took weekly turns of cooking & chores.

One day…he made us so mad at him…..we were cleaning the garage and he was going in the house…so, we asked him to put our one & only pizza in the oven for lunch.  He put it in with the wrapper on it!  We were so mad at him for the mess he made!  But other then that one time…he was a joy to be around.

Sorry, I digressed for a moment.

Our house is an old house.  There’s a well by the back door that we filled with the plaster we broke out of the walls when we insulated the house.  I remember when it had water in it.  So, before we insulated….Mom made the statement that we need to remove the chimneys as part of the remodelling.  You see, our house was heated by coal stoves and a coal furnace once upon a time.  There use to be a chimney in the dining room and one in the kitchen.

Let me tell you…….we came home from school one day.  We walked in the house and EVERYTHING …I mean EVERYTHING was covered with soot!  Uncle Willard had taken a sledge hammer and busted out the entire chimney in the kitchen.  He did not cover anything and there was soot from the front door to the alley!  Black grit…black grit…black grit…on & in everything!

All we could do was start cleaning it up and repeat to him a gazillion times,  “Mom is going to kill you”

True to her nature…she SNAPPED OFF when she came home.

But all ended well with that event.  Since we slept upstairs and there was no heat source, the hole in the attic floor from the chimney provided us with warmth through that winter and some years after.

We enjoyed Uncle Willard.  He was a good guy.  He died in Springfield, Illinois. After drinking with some folks, he went to take the garbage out.  They found him cuddled up in the doorway of a building….dead from exposure.  I think it was the winter of 1987.   His passing was hard on Mom.  She felt he should have stayed with her.  But he was a grown man and sometimes you have to let folks live with their grown decisions.  Agree?

As teenagers, we were not allowed to gallivant and roam the streets of Peoria.  We had curfews and were required to let our whereabouts be known.  I don’t get this new fangled way of raising kids and neither did Momma.  We never understood this mentality of being a “friend” first and “parent” later.  WTH is wrong with folks?

Even so….we could go to Seven Oaks, house parties, Gaslight Square or Stinson Hall one night of the weekend. Going out to dance on Friday & Saturday was NOT allowed…make up your mind…..only one night.  Then we had to haggle over who was going to ask if we could go and who was going to ask for the quarter to get in. Oh! And goodness forbid if we had to ask her to take us.

Anyway, we had to factor in the time to drop Vanessa (Peters) & Sandy (Johnson) off on our way back.  Cuz….God help us if we were late.  If Mom said 12…she meant in the house…door closed….not coming around the corner…not on the porch….not almost…..she meant what she said & she said what she meant!

So, when it was time for us to head out…..…I always tried to round up the troops. But there was always a certain person…I won’t point fingers…..a certain person who just HAD to get that LAST DANCE.  You don’t know how many times over those years I had to remind her, “We NEED to go!”     Then because of her last dance getting butt, we’d have to run…jog…run…all the way home.  Oh, it got so good they would tell me to be nice to “Shall Remain Nameless” guy so, that he would give us a ride home.  That way we could stay a little longer.

Well, this particular night, Miss I Gotta Get This Last Dance really pushed it.  By the time we got home….the door was locked.  Here we are….Jeannie, Marcia, Gigi and Judy standing outside 129 with “SOS” tattooed on our foreheads… “stuck on stupid’.  Well, I don’t remember who was the brainiac that decided we should push Gigi through the window on to her bed to open the door.  We pushed and pushed…..she kicked and kicked us in the face….we pushed & pushed…she kicked and kicked us in the face some more.  Then we heard the thunder roar, earth shake and saw lightning flash as a demonic bellow from the bowels of hell called us some names I will not write here.  It was a heart stopping sound unlike any have ever heard!

The Gonna Sneak In the House Sisters had pushed Gigi on top of Momma as she slept in Gigi’s bed waiting for us.

One of them will have to finish the story because for the life of me, everything after that has been wiped from my memory.  I laugh now but believe me it was NOT funny back then! The Adventures of the 129 Girls….lol

Another Bingo Story it's called Crunch.

There's no worse sound then listening to the sound of people that don't know how to eat.  I work in a office and we still have people that crunch, crunch, and crunch.  Can't even eat a bag of chips. 

Well... this particular day I guess I had my feel.  I was stuck in a small office with a lady that crunched all day long.  I was crunched out.  Went to Bingo with mom and she decided that she wanted some chips not a tenderloin and fry like she generally gets.  Most people think that Bingo is a loud place, well there are times when you can hear a pin drop.  Mom was munchin and crunchin on these chips and the sound got louder and louder the farther she got into the bag.  Before I realized whom I was talking to and please keep in mind that we don't curse or drink in front of my mom.  I said if you crunch on one more of those dam chips.  When I realized who I was talking to the look on my face you could have bought me for a nickel.  Mom just laughed.   Haven't been to Bingo yet, but I'm sure that I'm gonna miss her crunchin.  

                                        When I

                                     Must Leave You

                                   When I must leave you

                                        for a little while

                                    Please do not greive

                                       and shed wild tears

                                    And hug your sorrow to you

                                       through the years.

                                    But start out bravely

                                        with a gallant smile;

                                      And for my sake

                                          and in my name,

                                     Live on and do all things

                                            the same,

                                     Feed not your loneliness

                                            on empty days,

                                     But fill each waking hour

                                           in useful ways,

                                     Reach out your hand

                                    in comfort and in cheer

                                           And I in turn

                                         will comfort you

                                      And hold you near:

                                       And never, never

                                        be afraid to die,

                                       For I am waiting

                                      for you in the sky!

This is the script that was put on the back of mommas permanent obituary. I don't know the creator but this does say it all. To my sisters and brother and my cousins, read and remember this. Momma would have wanted it this way. I love you all.

I've been unable (due to keyboard trouble) to give another small peice of my heart and memories to the site for a few minutes, but I'm back.

Gigi told a good bingo story but I think i got one to compare.

Momma at one time thought it was a good idea to collect aluminum cans. We could not see or pass a can without her frugal waste not outlook, including circling the block if she saw one.

One night we go to Bingo in Bartonville (me, Gigi, Momma and Ethel).  I don't think we won anything but we were getting in the car. I was driving and Mom had this thing for not wanting to ride on the front seat because she had a problem with having to wear her seatbelt. I got in and started the car assuming everybody was in the car. I put the car in drive and started to pull off ( I hate thick traffic) and all of a sudden Gigi scared the heck out of me. She yelled  my name and I jumped  hit the brakes and said what as I looked over my shoulder. Here was Momma half hanging out of the car trying to pick up an aluminum can . One can. I must have snapped off not beleiving that she was so serious about that can that it was worth getting hurt over. We laughed all the way home. Momma had to laugh too cause she hadn't given one thought to her safety over one aluminum can.

 As I think back I don't remember riding around looking for aluminum cans anymore after that. As a matter of fact I don't remember momma finding cans to be that serious after that. We really had some good times playing Bingo and hanging out afterwards. I sure do miss that.  I'm hoping that one day I will be able to go to Bingo and play in all the fun memories we shared, I know that's what she'd want. God I miss her.